Add the chickpeas, no-beef broth, olive oil, nutritional yeast, tomato paste, liquid smoke, maple syrup, smoked paprika, pork seasoning, ground cloves, onion powder, and garlic powder to a food processor. Blend until completely smooth, scraping down the sides as needed — no visible chickpea chunks.

Transfer the mixture to a large bowl and add the vital wheat gluten all at once. Stir with a spatula until a shaggy dough forms, then knead with your hands until the dough is smooth, cohesive, and slightly springy, about 1–2 minutes. It should feel like firm bread dough and hold its shape when pressed. Don't over-knead — stop as soon as it comes together or the texture will turn rubbery.

Shape the dough into a compact oval loaf roughly the size and shape of a bone-in ham — about 8 inches long and 4 inches wide. Pack it firmly as you shape.

Wrap the loaf tightly in two layers of aluminum foil, twisting the ends to seal completely. A tight wrap is important — loose foil allows steam inside the packet and the loaf won't hold its shape.

Add 3–4 cups of water to a large pot and bring to a boil. Place the foil-wrapped loaf on a steamer basket above the water — it should not touch the water. Cover tightly, reduce heat to a steady simmer, and steam for 1 hour. Check the water level every 20 minutes and add more if needed to prevent the pot from running dry.

After 1 hour, carefully unwrap one end to check doneness — the loaf should feel firm throughout with no soft or squishy spots. If still soft in the center, re-wrap and steam for up to 30 minutes more. Seitan continues to firm up as it cools, so it doesn't need to be completely rigid — just set.

Remove from heat, unwrap carefully (steam will escape), and let cool for 10 minutes before handling.

Preheat the oven to 425°F. Whisk together all glaze ingredients in a medium bowl until the brown sugar is dissolved. Set aside.

Place the steamed loaf in a casserole dish or rimmed baking pan. Using a sharp knife, score the surface in a crisscross diamond pattern, cutting about ½ inch deep. If using whole cloves for decoration, press one clove into the center of each diamond — they are decorative only and must be removed before eating.

Arrange pineapple rings around the loaf if using. Pour half the glaze over the top and sides, letting it pool into the scored cuts.

Roast for 30 minutes, basting with the remaining glaze every 10 minutes. The loaf is done when the surface is deeply caramelized and lacquered.

Let rest for 15 minutes before slicing. Remove any decorative cloves before serving. Slice thinly and serve hot.